To reconstruct a firm foundation, you must primarily deconstruct the original version of your unsteady self.
Following years of unsuccessfully trying to change, forgive or forget my past, and attempting to reposition my bricks, I realize now that I was simply adding cement or creating holes to the misaligned and wobbly structure.
Recently, I have discovered radical acceptance; which has left me feeling quite silly that a simple word like “accept” could be so immensely foreign to me before.
There are certain things in life you have not the power to control. All the kicking, screaming, begging and praying will not improve the solidity of your being when a brick should be labeled as reality instead of being seen as a crooked piece impossible to repair.
The term “radical acceptance” simply means that what is there is not meant for you to fix. That upsetting brick in your structure, or stubborn screw in your scaffold, is out of your control.
By radically accepting all of the unchangeable things in your life, you actually gain a lot of control.
Ask yourself the following question:
Can I change or control this?
If the answer is no, then it is reality – not a crooked brick. Nobody has the almighty power to change reality. You must therefore radically accept that there is nothing you can do to make that brick better; other than accept its presence.