Every one of us has been programmed, from an early age, to deal with our emotions, feelings, and difficulties, the way our parents showed us to. Whether that means sucking it up buttercup, or kissing it all better, depends on aspects such as transgenerational transmission and teaching better when you know better.
Our parents, through their own trials and errors, either willingly or unwillingly (but rarely ever ill-intentionally), try shaping our future to prevent us from reproducing the same “mistakes” they made in their younger years. Often times, they unknowingly condition our reactions and thought process through modeling their own self-regulating methods. Children are either not taught to self-regulate from lack of attention received; from refusing that any form of feeling, emotion, or vulnerability be spoken of, acknowledged, or dealt with; from never having needed to because their parent firmly regulated them instead; or from learning to wrongfully react to their surroundings and to what is eating them up inside by copy/pasting through example.
In no way does this place the blame on our caregivers, who did what they could with what they had and what they knew (lets not forget that their brains were also wired to “survive”); it simply explains a big piece of the puzzle as to why our electrical minds and mechanical hearts function differently from one person to the next.
Most of the time, our current situation rattles our core; not because of the present moment, but due to how a similar event caused us to react in the past. Our wires automatically send waves of the last time I felt this way or this happened, this is how I reacted and it worked. We therefore repeat the reaction, over and over, because that is how we were programmed to “survive” and move on.
It is actually possible to completely reinvent parts of your DNA; to drop the unfortunately often imposed transgenerational transmission anchored within us, and to reprogram our “survival” methods. Lots of work is needed, but by simply acknowledging the feeling or emotion, allowing ourselves to feel what we’re feeling in the present moment (as nothing more than a feeling), reflecting on how WE wish to work through it, and moving on, we can slowly rewire our brains.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being slightly or overly emotional, or feeling overwhelmed at times; it is entirely part of our natural human nature and required self-development. Learning to choose how we react, and being able to self-regulate, are primordial needs to successfully achieving individual fulfillment.